Weds May 9th, 17h42. Neighbours is on. I’m watching it. With interest given the amount of lesbian action it has featured of late. The last thing you want is the phone to ring, but hey, it might be important.
“Good evening sir, how are you this evening?”
“Fine”
“Just to let you know, my name’s Alan. How was your bank holiday weekend?”
“Fine”
“That’s great, hope it was good, you didn’t drink too much? I know I did, ha ha ha, I always do!”
Twat.
“No, I don’t drink. I’m a Muslim.”
“Oh that’s great - just want to let you know, I’m not trying to sell you anything - just a friendly call to see if you’ve heard of the Hertz Foundation?”
“No.”
“Ha ha ha, good that’s means we’re doing our job right!!”
Twat.
“Can you tell me if you gamble a lot - playing the lottery, that sort of thing?”
“No. The Qur’an forbids it.”
“Well ok, what it is, is that I’m just wondering if you’d be interested in playing the British Heart Foundation Lottery - buying a few tickets? It benefits a lot of good causes and you could win up to £1,000!!”
Twat.
“No thanks. I said I don’t gamble”
“Ha ha ha, that’s great sir, well while I’ve got you on the line…”
I hung up. If someone can make me think “twat” three times in such a short period of time you’ve got to wonder. Still no sign of the lesbians on Neighbours but.
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